Can Temperature Play Heat Up Your Sex Life?
The merit of trying something new in the bedroom is that it might reveal a kink you didnt know you had.
Temperature play, which puts feelings of hot and unprepossessed to work sexually, can be a low-stakes entry into sensation play. Its a kink that doesnt require whips or blindfoldsalthough you can layer those in, if you’d likebut can introduce novelty and a BDSM savor to foreplay, masturbation, and partnered sex. Who knows, your partner might try running an ice cube lanugo your soul once and then you find yourself requesting all your sex toys chilled, please.
As a reminder, a kink is variegated from a fetish: A kink is something that turns you on and expands your sexual world. Something is a fetish when it must be present for you to get off.
Why do people like temperature play?
Focusing on the senses, including touch, is one way to get out of your throne and into the moment. And it can help you get increasingly pleasure out of sex. Touch triggers sensory cells, tabbed neuroreceptors, in your skin. In erogenous zones, neuroreceptors dont just turn on the sense of touch; they turn you on sexually, too. (Breasts, inner thighs, and the neck are some worldwide erogenous zones, but everyones soul is different.)
There are specific neuroreceptors that register temperature; those are thermoreceptors. When thermoreceptors are zingy by hot or cold, they trigger a physical reaction in your body. Say they receive unprepossessed signals: You might get goose bumps. Warm signals: loosened muscles and sweat. And you might find that your soul responds to hot or unprepossessed sensations in erogenous zones differently from how it responds to them generally. Maybe youre not a fan of feeling unprepossessed all over, as you would if you jumped in a dank pool, but you find that the sensation of unprepossessed grazing your nipple does something for you.
Temperature play is worth exploring if you havent tried ityou might discover something you like. And if it does excite you, you might layer in whatever other sexual kinks youve played with: A blindfold or a pair of handcuffs (these silicone cuffs from Crave are easy to put on and take off yourself) can build into temperature play well if you like surprises and power games.
7 Ways to Try Temperature Play
1
ICE
One of the most vital and inexpensive ways to get started with temperature play, if youre interested in seeing what a little unprepossessed can do to rile you up: Take turns with an ice cube in your fingers, between your lipshoweverand trace it up and lanugo your bodies. Or pop one in your mouth as you kiss each other all over. Go slowly and pay sustentation to your bodys cues: Do you finger goose bumps, shivers, tingles? Are you sexually excited? Is your partner?
2
Metal toys
Metal or glass sex toys can be dropped into warm or tomfool water for 5 to 10 minutes to retread their temperature however it thrills you. They moreover tend to be delightfully heavy. This dildo from Kiki de Montparnasse is wrapped in 24-karat gold. If youre not trying to wittiness out, you can find stainless steel or glass versions, too.
Of course, there are boundaries here: As a rule, if a toy is too hot or too unprepossessed to hold in your hand comfortably and indefinitely, thats too much. Wait a few minutes for it to shift when toward room temperature to be safe.
3
Self-Heating Vibrators
Some vibrators are made with a self-heating function that warms the toy to just whilom soul temperature. The heat is typically pretty gentle, so a toy like this is a good starting point if youre just starting to play with temperature and want to wade in slowly. You might find the warmth helps your soul ease into touchthe idea is the same as using warm oils during a massage. (More on that in a minute.)
We made the goop Wellness Ultraplush Self-Heating G-Spot Vibrator with that idea in mind: It gets pleasantly warmjust whilom soul temperatureto help relax your muscles and promote thoroughbred flow.
4
Heated Lube or
Massage Oil
Heated lube can be a pleasure, too. Check out the lube warmer from Pulse, which touchlessly dispenses perfectly portioned dollops of warm water-based lube into your hand. Or swap out Pulses lube for pods filled with silky plant-based massage oil.
5
Wax Play
Body oil candleslike this one from Neom, which smells fantasticmelt at a low unbearable temperature for the hot wax to be poured directly onto the soul and massaged into skin. Theyre hot unbearable to excite but not so hot that they burn. (Avoid regular candles, which melt at a temperature too upper for skin.)
6
Hot or Unprepossessed Water
Exploring temperature sensations in sex could be as simple as drinking something hot or unprepossessed surpassing kissing or oral sex. Or take play to the shower or tub: A handheld showerhead can get you a long way, as can taking a steamy bath.
7
Cold Foods
Ice cream, popsicles, or whipped surf can be a playful way to explore tomfool sensations. Chocolate syrup warmed in the microwave is unconfined for hot ones. And you might find the fun is in licking it off of each other.
Tips for Playing Safely
What to remember when trying any kink, including temperature play: Play responsibly, and indicate a unscratched word surpassing you get going. Unscratched words can be whatever you want, but its weightier to pick something that wouldnt otherwise come out of your mouth during sex. That said, they dont need to be anything expressly creative. A untried light/yellow light/red light system is a unconfined way to talk through your boundaries during kink and BDSM play, and you might find it increasingly well-appointed than saying something silly like pineapple.
Related Reading
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If youre curious well-nigh expanding your sexual horizons, heres a primer on worldwide kinks and tools of the tradepaddles, ticklers, blindfolds, oh my.
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Spicing things up in the bedroom is not all wax and whips, to be clear. Touching yourselves, together is a unconfined way to reignite a sexual spark or teach a partner what you like.
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The world of BDSM has so much increasingly to offer than pleasure alone. Read tragedian Liz Goldwyns essay on how bondage informed her understanding of boundaries and consent.
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Bedside table need stocking? We rounded up our favorite sex toys, lubes, and more. (Happy shopping.)
This vendible is for informational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice. To the extent that this vendible features the translating of physicians or medical practitioners, the views expressed are the views of the cited expert and do not necessarily represent the views of goop.